Healing from Brokenness: 5 Ways to Rebuild Trust When It Has Been Broken

This week, I have heard from three seasoned leaders about their trust journey in leadership. Each of these leaders have experienced bad leadership. They’ve dealt with mistrust, ineffective leadership, insecurities in power, mismanagement of finances and much more. And when organizations lead out of mistrust and hurt, human brokenness tends to rise. And trust deteriorates.

BUT,

• How do your rebuild trust when you have lost it organizationally?

• How do you heal from those who have lost your trust personally?

• How do you regain influence when others don’t trust you?

These are great questions. In fact, most people do NOT know how to regain trust. Most live a life of unforgiveness, resentment, “saltiness”, suspicion. In other words, we live with ghosts. This effects everything we do and who we are. And ultimately, when leaders who do NOT trust, build trust, and/or rebuild trust then leadership, influence, and impact will plateau (and eventually decline).

This is why leaders NEED to rebuild trust and heal from mistrust.

Here are FIVE practical ways how to REBUILD trust when it has been broken:

Learn How to Apologize

An apology is deeper than saying “sorry.” It is more than having a conversation with those who’ve you’ve lost trust with. An apology is the recognition of knowing what to say, what to apologize for (it doesn’t matter HOW hard it will be), and HOW to say “sorry” when the other person/organization can feel + understand your apology.

And, as leaders, we even need to apologize on the behalf of bad leadership. This is good leadership, to be honest. In most cases, leaders would rather defend, deflect, or minimize rather than apologize. But if we want to be effective and influential, we need to build a foundation of trust through effective apologies.

Last, a good apology is about “ownership.” It is about taking ownership of an offence, a mistake, a bad choice in leadership that has ultimately effected others. It is about making it YOUR responsibility to regain trust because, simply put, you are the leader.

Communicate Through Change

How do you regain trust? Show a different path. Words are empty for those who are highly susceptible due to low trust. In our culture where trust is low in general, rebuild trust through incremental change. Do what you will say and say what you will do. This is important to regain trust.

Have a Trust Plan

Change is intentional. Very rarely does healthy change happen accidentally. It needs to be on a trajectory of growth and healing. With that said, this is why regaining trust needs to have a plan. Small and large. A trust plan for ourselves, an “inside” game plan to lead by example, and to help others heal.

If you are looking for ways to build a trust plan, feel free to reach out to DUCO here.

With that said, do you have a plan?

Lead with Kindness

Everyone has a story that needs to be told. Hurt people hurt people. Broken people tend to see everything and everyone else as broken. People respond to what they know. This is why leaders need to respond with kindness. To kill with kindness. To be strategic in kindness.

WHY? Because we have been kind with.

Jesus, showed kindness, while you and I didn’t deserve it. And yet, you and I can show kindness to those who don’t deserve it too. Because Jesus is the leader of all leaders.

Are you showing kindness? Responding with kindness? Revealing kindness to those who don’t deserve it?

Be Persistent

Psychologists suggest that it takes NINE acts of rebuilding trust to replace ONE act of loosing trust. In the same way, counsellors reveal that it takes six to eight months for married couples to start to heal when trust has been broken.

In the same way, leaders need to have a long-term approach to rebuilding trust. Don’t be impatient. Don’t be manipulative. Be kind. Rebuild trust through your actions, not your words. Have a plan and stick with it. Show kindness all the time. If you do so, you will rebuild trust.

In your leadership, how have you’ve rebuilt trust? Healed from mistrust? Feel free to add to the conversation…